PERSONAL APPEAL Lyrics





01. Why Can't I Write A Hit? 2:36

Working hard into the night
Searching for a
Melody that makes sense to the president of the record company
When will he sign me?

Why can't I write a hit
Why can't I write a hit
Why can't I compose
Why can't I write a hit
Why can't I write a hit
Am I ineligible for the gold?
It's no use

Here I play, I'm desperate
Searching for a
Catchy lyric that'll spell dollar signs to the music chairman of the board at Columbia

Why can't I write a hit
Why can't I write a hit
Why can't I compose like those
Why can't I write a hit
Why can't I write a hit
Am I ineligible for the gold?

Warner Brothers
RSOvers
MGM and HP Music
Modulate
The songs are too weird.

02. Makeup Shakeup 2:41

Doncha look good enough?
Are you not good enough?
You look good enough to me

Could we talk about a little problem
That has been annoying me just recently?
You see, I can't relate you using so much makeup
And I don't know how that you can see

Doncha look good enough?
Are you not good enough?
You look good enough to me

Look, you're getting it all over everybody's clothing
Getting it all over everybody's nerves
Covering up the girl I fell in love with
Back a dozen months or so ago

If the reason that I want to be with you
Is that you have a very pretty face
Then why does everybody wanna sell you makeup
In a sturdy handy carrying case?

Doncha look good enough?
Are you not good enough?
You look good enough to me

Now you're getting it all over everybody's conscience
Getting it all over everybody's pants
Covering up the friends I fell in love with
Back a dozen months or so ago

You look like somebody tried to run you over
With a giant tractor trailer van
You've got mascara dripping down upon your lips
And now you've got it all over your hands

What a mess you are!

03. Old 2:45

And one Tuesday morning I opened a book
And found that I didn't know how to read
And one summer lunchtime I searched for my rose
And found that I forgot to plant the seed
And now I find my dinner's getting cold
I guess it's time for me to grow old

And one certain April I shopped in the town
And found inside my wallet only cards
And one day in arithmetic I added two and two
And found that in my life there's only odds
And now I'm learning what I've been told
I guess that you could say I'm growing old

And one night while sleeping I rested myself
And found that I didn't stay awake
And one winter afternoon I changed another year
And found that I had more than I could take
And so my many years have been sold
I guess that's what it is to grow old.

04. Structure Of Love 4:26

(instrumental)

05. The Picture 3:28

I still got your picture
It's a picture of you naked
I kept it 'cause I thought I'd need it
Who ever thought that I'd use
That picture every night?

Whenever I see you
I see the picture of you naked
I love it 'cause it gives me pleasure
Whoever thought that you'd give
Me pleasure every night?

It turns me on (the picture)
But since you're gone
All I can do is look
At your figure in a book

I'm glad I got pictures
So glad these pictures were taken
Now my semi-satisfaction is easy
Whoever thought that your picture
Would always treat me right?

It turns me on (the picture)
The one on the lawn
All I can do is look
At your privates in a book

Ejaculation is our relationship I cherish
You help me reach a climax with your still life
Whoever thought that you'd love me
With a picture every night?
Whoever thought that ... a picture...

06. Quarter Peep Show 3:08

Ooh hey now let's go
Down to the quarter peep show
Forget that rodeo
We ain't got enough dough, no no no 

So we jumped into the car
Drove on past the bar
I parked and locked the doors
And checked out all the stores
But I ain't never seen nothin' like
The one down on the corner
My pockets emptied change
As I spoke to Mr. Horner, I said 

Hey, which of these movies
Is best for my money?
He told me, "Booth D, boy
Get a load of the chest on that honey!"
And I ain't never seen nothin' like
The girl on the picture screen
My pocket began to grow
I felt so hot that I could scream 

Closing time came around
They shuttin' down the town
Went home and had a beer
So sad that she ain't here
Cause I ain't never been up this late
I don't think that I can sleep
Until I find me a 25-piece
So I can have one more peep
Just a peep
One peep
Just a peep
Peep peep

Ooh hey now let's go
Down to the quarter peep show
Forget that rodeo
We ain't got enough dough, no no no 

Ooh hey now let's go
Down to the quarter peep show
Forget that rodeo
We ain't got enough dough, no no no 

HAW!

07. I've Begun To Fall In Love 2:39

Carolynn will you come?
Carolynn will you come?
I've begun to fall in love

Carolynn give you fun
Carolynn give you fun
I've begun to fall in love

Carolynn will you come?
Carolynn will you come?
My heart is swollen up with you
It's all so very new
Carolynn will you come?
Carolynn will you come?
I've begun to fall in love

Carolynn will you come?
Carolynn will you come?
My heart is overflowing now
I'm satisfied somehow
Carolynn will you come?
Carolynn will you come?
I've begun to fall in love.

08. Pretend For A Second That You Are Very Intelligent 3:05

Pretend, for a second, that you are very intelligent
Imagine your brain improved
You can tell that dreaming is easy
But I'll continue to move

Rock n' roll has its problems
Everybody's in the minor leagues
Consider all the things that people can't do
Besides look at Cheryl Tiegs.
That is stupid.

I am the one with the ego disease that
Puts me in a class of my own
But it's hard being ahead of your time
And I'll continue to grow

Rock n' roll is deceasing
Everybody knows it's repetition
Do it once, do it over again
And again once more - no competition.
That is wrong.

(Yes, that's not good, boys and girls
you've got to study real hard
and do your very best to make
better grades than your friends.)

Pretend, for a second, that you are very intelligent
Smile with knowledge of truth
It's simple to grasp a creative style
To use and continue to use

Cause rock n' roll is constipated
Not only is it shit but it's runny shit
And it doesn't wanna stop oozing out
And you know i'm tired of it.

(C'mon!
What in the world is wrong with you?
Explain, why are you acting so dumb?
You can't fool me
I know you've got some common sense!
You should be unable to control
Your imagination like that
Let it out!
Enough diarrhea, get smart!
You already are smart
Just cut the games!)

09. Forecast 2:30

Will it snow snow snow
I don't know know know
Will the weather be forever?
You won't know till you
Wake up and see tomorrow

Barometa pressure's down fifty percent
Cause the raindrop index is high
Expect a temperature of eighty below
You can kiss your thermometer bye
Cold front warm front drinking the rain
Till the oceanic bottle is dry

Hurricane Betsy is at it again
You could call it rejuvenation
No such thing as a fair sky
Cold showers aren't too much fun
Lightning zaps and thunderclaps
And the stars have eaten the sun

Bob Lobertini has frozen his weinie
And the clouds are gettin too thick
Smoke 'n fog and foke 'n smog
Don't this weatherman kick
And everytime the day change try to rearrange
Something tells me i'm gettin sick

Differentia time zone seventy-nine
The air pressure is nearly on ten
Numbers in mud on the radar, bud
Yesterday's with us again
High humidity, my stupidity
Perspiration killed five men

Don't go outside
Don't go outside
Don't go outside
Don't go outside
Will the weather be forever?
You won't know till you
Wake up and die tomorrow

10. No Body 2:31

Today is the day
When I wash my hair
I think it's long overdue, because
Last night was the night
When somebody said
I ought to use a shampoo

But I know what it does
Even though it's very clean
It has no body
And I've seen what occurs
When I try to pick up chicks
I find nobody
Not no one

Today is the day
When I cut my hair
I might as well compromise, because
Tonight is the night
When my luck will change
I'll catch a sexy girl's eyes

Cause I know shorter hair on a man
Attracts most everybody
Yes, I've seen people laughing at hippies
Cause their hair has no body
Would someone please explain what's in style?
No body
I think I'll wear a helmet all the time
Must be right for somebody
Maybe me

Trendies, hear me out
How should I wear mine?
It's very hard to decide for me
I think I will let the dandruff collect
Looks pretty good that way

11. Man Without A Purpose 4:14 (lyrics by Ferguson)

I know a man without a purpose
He isolates himself and seeks his own desire
He argues with all wisdom
As he sits alone while staring at the fire
Man without a purpose
Without meaning, without plan

I met a man without a meaning
When he speaks his mind he hasn't much to say
He laughs at understanding
The price of which he's not prepared to pay
Man without a meaning
Without purpose, without plan

I know a man without a reason
He cannot believe there's mercy, truth or grace
So there's nothing really missing
As he sits alone and tears roll down his face
Man without a reason
Man, I wouldn't wanna be that man

well thanks a lot

12. Treat Me 2:45

Lock me in my room and
Tell me to shut or you'll cut me up
Treat me
Like you would treat a disaster movie
Treat me very groovy

Block me on the field and
Tell me to lay down or you'll knock me down
Treat me
Like you would treat a contagious illness
Treat me like brazil nuts

Rock me on the stage and
Tell me to get off or you'll get me off
Treat me
Like you would treat any ice cold shoulder
Treat me like a soldier

Treat me
Like you would treat a collapsing building
Treat me like your children

Treat me
Treat me

13. What We Did 2:46

I was in Venice again
On a week-to-week basis
Considering you
You were on my T.V.
During commercial announcements
Considering me

What we did
What we did

"Yes, there was nothing sexual, although my tender memories of your questions,
your many interesting questions, and just because we were fooding and blending
our underwear with each countertop, the disciplinary sweat from your brow.
you bet, I selected you first thing in the morning, originally a wasted dottle,
but heh-heh-heh, still self-controlled. I was pleased."

I got a call
And it wasn't important for talking
Considering you
You never mentioned
If you would've met me alone
And considering me
Four cubic inches
Was all that he counted
With each of his credible hands
Hand me a wrench, Mr. Gottlieb says
And he changed them
From inches to feet

What we did
What we did

"Yes, there I became a crabby applicant, just in time for who?
why, Fred–– and he's the one with the confidence. He's the one who wants
to play shows called gigs...in front of two or three hundred social saps
with hidden gums and fingers that sniff instead. Fred instead.
Goddamn hell, that stage is lit and open and dry as a quailbone,
and the club has set up a dozen amplifiers with rolling stands.
And shall I plug in any old electric guitar and motion with my hands
for everyone to stop playing, for Pete's sake, and give me a chance
to reverse the polarity so the folks in the chairs up front will depart
for clearer circumstance. Fred just can't pick up the correct tempo,
as his set of gleaming gigdrums (as he calls them) are cracking and laughing.
Yes, and during every one of nearly sixty rehearsels the questions
were few and far between. So I ask: what have we done? I can't picture it.
All those nine/eight time signatures... no no no, just put 9/8... they'll understand.
Proceeding... the drum courses have been pre-empted. I can't picture it."

14. Copy Me 3:27

If you want me
But you can't have enough
Duplicate me
Get your share of my stuff

Copy me
Do what I do
Have what I have
Be what I am

Transfer syndrome
Put me on something else
Obtain versions
To store upon your shelf

Copy me
Do what I do
Have what I have
Be what I am

Reproduce me
I come in ten flavors
Don't reduce me
I'll ask for three favors

Copy me
Do what I do
Have what I have
Be what I am
Copy me
Do what I do
Have what I have
Be what I am

15. I'm Sorry But Goodnight 1:21

I'm sorry but goodnight
I can't keep up the fight
That it's taking to win at 3:30 AM
I've run out of coffee and pills.

I'm sorry but goodnight
My eyes are shutting tight
Though I yearn just to learn
When you walk in the door

I would french on your navel
And dance on the table
With rapture I surely would reap
If I just wouldn't fall asleep.