PERSONAL APPEAL Lyrics
01. Why Can't I Write A Hit? 2:36 Working hard into the night Searching for a Melody that makes sense to the president of the record company When will he sign me? Why can't I write a hit Why can't I write a hit Why can't I compose Why can't I write a hit Why can't I write a hit Am I ineligible for the gold? It's no use Here I play, I'm desperate Searching for a Catchy lyric that'll spell dollar signs to the music chairman of the board at Columbia Why can't I write a hit Why can't I write a hit Why can't I compose like those Why can't I write a hit Why can't I write a hit Am I ineligible for the gold? Warner Brothers RSOvers MGM and HP Music Modulate The songs are too weird. 02. Makeup Shakeup 2:41 Doncha look good enough? Are you not good enough? You look good enough to me Could we talk about a little problem That has been annoying me just recently? You see, I can't relate you using so much makeup And I don't know how that you can see Doncha look good enough? Are you not good enough? You look good enough to me Look, you're getting it all over everybody's clothing Getting it all over everybody's nerves Covering up the girl I fell in love with Back a dozen months or so ago If the reason that I want to be with you Is that you have a very pretty face Then why does everybody wanna sell you makeup In a sturdy handy carrying case? Doncha look good enough? Are you not good enough? You look good enough to me Now you're getting it all over everybody's conscience Getting it all over everybody's pants Covering up the friends I fell in love with Back a dozen months or so ago You look like somebody tried to run you over With a giant tractor trailer van You've got mascara dripping down upon your lips And now you've got it all over your hands What a mess you are! 03. Old 2:45 And one Tuesday morning I opened a book And found that I didn't know how to read And one summer lunchtime I searched for my rose And found that I forgot to plant the seed And now I find my dinner's getting cold I guess it's time for me to grow old And one certain April I shopped in the town And found inside my wallet only cards And one day in arithmetic I added two and two And found that in my life there's only odds And now I'm learning what I've been told I guess that you could say I'm growing old And one night while sleeping I rested myself And found that I didn't stay awake And one winter afternoon I changed another year And found that I had more than I could take And so my many years have been sold I guess that's what it is to grow old. 04. Structure Of Love 4:26 (instrumental) 05. The Picture 3:28 I still got your picture It's a picture of you naked I kept it 'cause I thought I'd need it Who ever thought that I'd use That picture every night? Whenever I see you I see the picture of you naked I love it 'cause it gives me pleasure Whoever thought that you'd give Me pleasure every night? It turns me on (the picture) But since you're gone All I can do is look At your figure in a book I'm glad I got pictures So glad these pictures were taken Now my semi-satisfaction is easy Whoever thought that your picture Would always treat me right? It turns me on (the picture) The one on the lawn All I can do is look At your privates in a book Ejaculation is our relationship I cherish You help me reach a climax with your still life Whoever thought that you'd love me With a picture every night? Whoever thought that ... a picture... 06. Quarter Peep Show 3:08 Ooh hey now let's go Down to the quarter peep show Forget that rodeo We ain't got enough dough, no no no So we jumped into the car Drove on past the bar I parked and locked the doors And checked out all the stores But I ain't never seen nothin' like The one down on the corner My pockets emptied change As I spoke to Mr. Horner, I said Hey, which of these movies Is best for my money? He told me, "Booth D, boy Get a load of the chest on that honey!" And I ain't never seen nothin' like The girl on the picture screen My pocket began to grow I felt so hot that I could scream Closing time came around They shuttin' down the town Went home and had a beer So sad that she ain't here Cause I ain't never been up this late I don't think that I can sleep Until I find me a 25-piece So I can have one more peep Just a peep One peep Just a peep Peep peep Ooh hey now let's go Down to the quarter peep show Forget that rodeo We ain't got enough dough, no no no Ooh hey now let's go Down to the quarter peep show Forget that rodeo We ain't got enough dough, no no no HAW! 07. I've Begun To Fall In Love 2:39 Carolynn will you come? Carolynn will you come? I've begun to fall in love Carolynn give you fun Carolynn give you fun I've begun to fall in love Carolynn will you come? Carolynn will you come? My heart is swollen up with you It's all so very new Carolynn will you come? Carolynn will you come? I've begun to fall in love Carolynn will you come? Carolynn will you come? My heart is overflowing now I'm satisfied somehow Carolynn will you come? Carolynn will you come? I've begun to fall in love. 08. Pretend For A Second That You Are Very Intelligent 3:05 Pretend, for a second, that you are very intelligent Imagine your brain improved You can tell that dreaming is easy But I'll continue to move Rock n' roll has its problems Everybody's in the minor leagues Consider all the things that people can't do Besides look at Cheryl Tiegs. That is stupid. I am the one with the ego disease that Puts me in a class of my own But it's hard being ahead of your time And I'll continue to grow Rock n' roll is deceasing Everybody knows it's repetition Do it once, do it over again And again once more - no competition. That is wrong. (Yes, that's not good, boys and girls you've got to study real hard and do your very best to make better grades than your friends.) Pretend, for a second, that you are very intelligent Smile with knowledge of truth It's simple to grasp a creative style To use and continue to use Cause rock n' roll is constipated Not only is it shit but it's runny shit And it doesn't wanna stop oozing out And you know i'm tired of it. (C'mon! What in the world is wrong with you? Explain, why are you acting so dumb? You can't fool me I know you've got some common sense! You should be unable to control Your imagination like that Let it out! Enough diarrhea, get smart! You already are smart Just cut the games!) 09. Forecast 2:30 Will it snow snow snow I don't know know know Will the weather be forever? You won't know till you Wake up and see tomorrow Barometa pressure's down fifty percent Cause the raindrop index is high Expect a temperature of eighty below You can kiss your thermometer bye Cold front warm front drinking the rain Till the oceanic bottle is dry Hurricane Betsy is at it again You could call it rejuvenation No such thing as a fair sky Cold showers aren't too much fun Lightning zaps and thunderclaps And the stars have eaten the sun Bob Lobertini has frozen his weinie And the clouds are gettin too thick Smoke 'n fog and foke 'n smog Don't this weatherman kick And everytime the day change try to rearrange Something tells me i'm gettin sick Differentia time zone seventy-nine The air pressure is nearly on ten Numbers in mud on the radar, bud Yesterday's with us again High humidity, my stupidity Perspiration killed five men Don't go outside Don't go outside Don't go outside Don't go outside Will the weather be forever? You won't know till you Wake up and die tomorrow 10. No Body 2:31 Today is the day When I wash my hair I think it's long overdue, because Last night was the night When somebody said I ought to use a shampoo But I know what it does Even though it's very clean It has no body And I've seen what occurs When I try to pick up chicks I find nobody Not no one Today is the day When I cut my hair I might as well compromise, because Tonight is the night When my luck will change I'll catch a sexy girl's eyes Cause I know shorter hair on a man Attracts most everybody Yes, I've seen people laughing at hippies Cause their hair has no body Would someone please explain what's in style? No body I think I'll wear a helmet all the time Must be right for somebody Maybe me Trendies, hear me out How should I wear mine? It's very hard to decide for me I think I will let the dandruff collect Looks pretty good that way 11. Man Without A Purpose 4:14 (lyrics by Ferguson) I know a man without a purpose He isolates himself and seeks his own desire He argues with all wisdom As he sits alone while staring at the fire Man without a purpose Without meaning, without plan I met a man without a meaning When he speaks his mind he hasn't much to say He laughs at understanding The price of which he's not prepared to pay Man without a meaning Without purpose, without plan I know a man without a reason He cannot believe there's mercy, truth or grace So there's nothing really missing As he sits alone and tears roll down his face Man without a reason Man, I wouldn't wanna be that man well thanks a lot 12. Treat Me 2:45 Lock me in my room and Tell me to shut or you'll cut me up Treat me Like you would treat a disaster movie Treat me very groovy Block me on the field and Tell me to lay down or you'll knock me down Treat me Like you would treat a contagious illness Treat me like brazil nuts Rock me on the stage and Tell me to get off or you'll get me off Treat me Like you would treat any ice cold shoulder Treat me like a soldier Treat me Like you would treat a collapsing building Treat me like your children Treat me Treat me 13. What We Did 2:46 I was in Venice again On a week-to-week basis Considering you You were on my T.V. During commercial announcements Considering me What we did What we did "Yes, there was nothing sexual, although my tender memories of your questions, your many interesting questions, and just because we were fooding and blending our underwear with each countertop, the disciplinary sweat from your brow. you bet, I selected you first thing in the morning, originally a wasted dottle, but heh-heh-heh, still self-controlled. I was pleased." I got a call And it wasn't important for talking Considering you You never mentioned If you would've met me alone And considering me Four cubic inches Was all that he counted With each of his credible hands Hand me a wrench, Mr. Gottlieb says And he changed them From inches to feet What we did What we did "Yes, there I became a crabby applicant, just in time for who? why, Fred–– and he's the one with the confidence. He's the one who wants to play shows called gigs...in front of two or three hundred social saps with hidden gums and fingers that sniff instead. Fred instead. Goddamn hell, that stage is lit and open and dry as a quailbone, and the club has set up a dozen amplifiers with rolling stands. And shall I plug in any old electric guitar and motion with my hands for everyone to stop playing, for Pete's sake, and give me a chance to reverse the polarity so the folks in the chairs up front will depart for clearer circumstance. Fred just can't pick up the correct tempo, as his set of gleaming gigdrums (as he calls them) are cracking and laughing. Yes, and during every one of nearly sixty rehearsels the questions were few and far between. So I ask: what have we done? I can't picture it. All those nine/eight time signatures... no no no, just put 9/8... they'll understand. Proceeding... the drum courses have been pre-empted. I can't picture it." 14. Copy Me 3:27 If you want me But you can't have enough Duplicate me Get your share of my stuff Copy me Do what I do Have what I have Be what I am Transfer syndrome Put me on something else Obtain versions To store upon your shelf Copy me Do what I do Have what I have Be what I am Reproduce me I come in ten flavors Don't reduce me I'll ask for three favors Copy me Do what I do Have what I have Be what I am Copy me Do what I do Have what I have Be what I am 15. I'm Sorry But Goodnight 1:21 I'm sorry but goodnight I can't keep up the fight That it's taking to win at 3:30 AM I've run out of coffee and pills. I'm sorry but goodnight My eyes are shutting tight Though I yearn just to learn When you walk in the door I would french on your navel And dance on the table With rapture I surely would reap If I just wouldn't fall asleep.